I remember when Christmas Eve Day was the best day of the year. As a child we would wrap presents and head over to meet our extended family at my grandparents' house in Menlo Park, CA for an extravagant, yet down-to-earth Christmas Eve. Food would range from native Russian delicacies to Honey Baked Hams...presents would be placed around the at least 9" tree and grand piano, and we would always wait to find out who had trash duty. It was the little things. But it has been 5 years this Christmas since we had the pleasure of one of these Christmas Eve's. It has been 5 years since one of my very best friends passed away, my grandfather Pa, and it seems with him went the last of these memory-making evenings.
What was once a time for memory making has seemed to become a time for memory reminiscing instead. And whilst it usually makes me sad to think this way, isn't it wonderful I even have such wonderful people and events worth remembering?
This year has seen more changes than any other year in my life. Having weathered divorces, breakups, relocations to other countries, and then my return to the states, also enjoyed unplanned surprises, such as a spur-of-the-moment wedding to my now husband, Dr. Ryan W (with whom my first date with actually occured on my grandfather's birthday, and my parents anniversary-a sign, no?). Yet no matter who I am with, or where I am, my eyes do well at the thought that the aforementioned Christmas Eve will never, ever be replaced.
Tonight I am spending Christmas Eve alone- my brother now has a lovely girlfriend, and they are spending the night at her parents. My parents are planning on coming to my home Christmas Day for dinner. And my new husband has the night shift at UCLA RR Hospital (on peds) from 10PM-2PM (yes, sucks). So I will attend midnight mass alone, snuggle in front of a yule log, and remember---and if I try hard enough--- I just might be able to hear my grandparents laughter, see their smiles, and in return be grateful that I even have such perfect memories to fondly recall.
It is wonderful to be back on Moon River and Me. I may have not finished my PhD in England- but I gained so much more this year than I could have imagined- and that is wonderful too.
Merry Christmas!
XOXO
Dani
